Questions.

Yeah! I ask myself a lot of times, of different kinds. But, today the question is specific about “sex”, yeah! something  that not at all allowed to discuss and think about it, in our culture. So, it was always a mystery to me until i didn’t started to watch YouTube videos or reading articles about it. Because, it is not as uncommon out in the world as i used to thought.

You know, secretly i have been thinking about it several times cause we humans can’t be deprived of these sexual feeling and emotions. But, the question was- that i dreamed of having sex with my future love. You know what last 2 days, i was trying to picture that image and felt something. After that day, i started thinking that what do i think about it. Once, i have told my sister that i will try to date if i am interested in someone and try to find out that is that person is someone i want to be with someone. And i mean that i will date several people if it will be necessary to find that one for me. You know what that dream and that talk with my sister had started to confuse me. That what do i want? Am i enjoy sex? or am i looking for love through that? I was too distress thinking that maybe i am only interested in sex not love, and i became too afraid with that thought. You know, it’s funny because that doesn’t define that i am a bad girl just because i would prefer sex over love;maybe it can be a problem or maybe a disease or may be as common as sex outer in the world. I don’t know that what does that mean that i am afraid of.

I am writing this to clear my confusion, through writing this i understood that just because i am thinking that maybe sex is over love for me doesn’t mean that i am a bad person, what about some people who thinks this way. Also, by thinking about this, i learned that no for me sex is never everything about love. Sex is not bad thing, it is the most beautiful gift God has gifted us, it is a way we bond with people, power of creating a new life and bring two completely unknown people so close that they live their life for each other. I am not a bad person neither do the sex. I have been imagining my future with every important element that i wish to be in my life. So, it is completely okay to think that doing anything if we believe that we want to do. If you don’t know that you’re right or wrong then, you will find about it and learn.And if you know that, then think about that who you are and what you wanna do. Eventually, never stop yourself doing anything that you wanna do, because no matter what you will learn.