Day 2.

I am afraid, I found the one that I have always dreamt of, but that someone who doesn’t even know that I exist.

I am afraid that the way I feel about him,if I keep feeling this way then maybe my love will turn into obsession, I will start behaving like a psychopath. I am happy that there is a guy who feels like to me that he is born to be with me, but the kinda love or connection I am feeling, i don’t even know that I should even call that love or not.

So, I am afraid that maybe my expectations of being with him maybe will cause me the greatest pain, and I don’t if I am really strong to go through it.

Part of me saying that what I am doing is stupidity, maybe it could be true. But, I never even thought before that I will find that someone, whom I used to imagine all the time- “My man”,and I will find this way , not at all. He is right now the rising singing star. Wow, is it really possible, I don’t know.

But, what I am gonna do is just forget about what’s gonna happen?, or am I ever gonna be able to be with him?.

I love thinking about him, love to know him as a person, and his music just make me fall in love with him even deeper, especially his voice, it feels like I can feel him through his voice.

What I really need to do is find a way to deal with this fear. That’s why, I have decided to listen to his songs, and watch his photos and videos whenever I wanted to see him or feel him. That whenever I wanna imagine him or think about him, I will tell myself that it’s only into my imagination, reality is different. Whenever I will feel overwhelmed because of my feelings about him, then I will write about that feeling on this blog.

So, I think I have found my way to love him, and also tried to have no or less expectation. I don’t know what I am saying, or does it really make sense? But, still this is my reality right now. I can’t deny the feelings I get whenever I listen to his voice or see him, that I think that maybe he is the one for him.

I don’t know for how long, but now I will write on this blog about my feelings regarding him.