I was thinking that what if I found someone later in my life, and realized that someone else is for me. Then, what’s this that I am feeling now, is it just any thought or emotion? Yeah, it’s so like me, whenever I start to do something I get a chain of thoughts that keep trying to confuse me, that’s totally me.
But, after really thinking about it, what I believe is that it’s not like an option to have one or the other,definitely. But, I have found him and exactly someone that I have always imagined (wierd), and most importantly I can connect with him, there is definitely something that make me feel connected to him.
Yeah, maybe I can find someone else, or I could connect to someone, if I will keep looking for it. But, then question is what really am I looking for? It’s like hey “Mr universe”, it’s not possible to be with this person, could you give me another one just like him. Or am I looking for some “customiz human being “? No, man I am human too, and I know we all different, there is no such thing like perfect. He is a human being that happens to be parallel with my thoughts and imagination, but that doesn’t mean anything.
The whole point is if two persons are meant to be together, they are gonna be. And this is what I believe too, it’s just if there’s someone for me, then I am gonna meet him someday, that could be anyone (no matter I know about him or not).
But, I am not gonna look for anyone any more, cause I am happy thinking that I have found that one, doesn’t matter how it ends. I am gonna believe it that it’s supposed to be this way.
I was looking for it for so long, I found it really weird way, and I don’t even know that how i am gonna feel about him in the future, but right now he is the one for me, and I don’t want anyone else.
I am ofcourse feeling weird and stupid,but that’s how I’ve been all my life. My brother always used to say that I don’t know anything, that I am stupid, don’t really know how to talk, and cry during talking (if something’s emotional). Not then but now I love myself this way. I see myself different, if I see everything differently then I can’t really love in normal way. So this is totally me.
I have learned it recently, that love is not a fate, we create it. So, the moral of the story is that I am trying to create it, if it’s gonna build up or break up , I am gonna find out through the process.
Self-wanderer 