Not you.

Actually I was talking to my ex, yeah I talk to him sometimes. But, today I thought that let’s try to talk to him about the way I felt with our break-up, because I used to think that I should clear things up. And that’s why I tried to talk to him several times. And every time what I realized that he is all about his feelings, about how difficult it was for him, I tried to tell him about myself but I today realized that he is not someone can understand who I am? How did I feel? He is not that guy.

He is a good person, but he is not ready, actually it’s difficult for him to see my side, cause I believe that he doesn’t know to do. So, I felt good when I was talking to him, cause he was much complicated in his own emotions and feelings. Yeah! He blames me for his misery, but I know I am not, cause he is the one who doesn’t understand his own complex emotions. What made me feel good that I am happy that I own my own experiences, painful feelings, I understand them. I was thinking to tell him that boy its not only you, I also wanna say something, and wanna tell you that you aren’t right for me for many reasons. I loved you, and now I can say you loved me too. But, the meaning of love for both of us are different. And also, I feel lucky of who I am today,and I love myself today that I never did before, cause I was looking for love outside, in people like you. Also, I don’t wanna clear anything cause it doesn’t matter to me anyway. Cause, I know you just wanna say, not ready to listen. I was thinking to keep the friendly relationship with you, but now I think- nope! There is no basic understanding, so there is no relation. one thing I am happy about that you’re not a bad person and you loved me. Yeah! But, you’re not the one for me and you can never be. And I don’t need to share my feelings with you, nothing. Not you.

Maybe I will message him if I want to, but that’s one me. But, it will be just because I know he himself is totally mess.