I know that this is what life is, sometimes black , sometimes white , sometimes grey , sometime colorless or sometimes clueless. I know, not everyday, every moment, it’s gonna be easy, but is that means, that i shouldn’t feel this way, i shouldn’t be right to hurt. Cause, God, wow this pain is too much, and i’m trying my best to hold it in, cause i don’t want anyone, anyone to disrespect my feelings, my pain, cause this is too special for me. And i don’t wanna be judged again, for being real, i’m happy for the lies they think i am.
But you know, God, what it takes to lie, to pretend that nothing is going on, when everything is into flames. You know everything, I guess, that’s how it goes when you’re walking alone. And i know i’m hurting, God you know, I can’t put it into words, how much. It’s the time of testing my patience and resilience and you know what, i’m gonna top it, cause, you know, i got your blessings, blessing of beautiful love. In this toughest of times, i’d have lost myself, if i’d not have blessed with my identity, very belief of who i’m.
You know, when it hurts, it hurts like i can’t have my another breath, just the thought of living my life in my new york city , gets me through every moment, every day.
And you know, that’s the beauty of it, that’s the reason i’m falling deeper for myself, falling deeper in who i’m gonna be. So thank you for today or every coming day.
Oh i’m gonna cry, i’m gonna bleed till my last breath, but i’m not dying, cause this love is too strong and it’s gonna hold me up. Cause, if i’m taking these shits only cause i know, the tomorrow is mine. So yeah, this pain is what’s gonna build the tomorrow i’m dreaming.
Yeah, but it still hurts God…oh too much…..too much….and it’s only you….i can lean on to ….please hold me, show me your mercy, shower your love over me, i need you, give me strength.
love you God,Love my NYC.
Self-wanderer 